Jutsu Gone Awry Rewrite
by felinerx
Summary: Complete rewrite. A jutsu gone awry leaves the Akatsuki's hands full with two girls from a different dimension. They have no choice but to train the girls in hopes that they can do something to help them survive their impending doom. But will it be enough? Or will the sour relationship between the girls cause their death? Possible but doubtful HidanxOC, DeidaraxOC or ItachixOC.


**EDIT: Fixed some minor grammatical and spelling errors, plus italicised words which should have been but were not italicised before.**

**A/N: So here it is, the beginnings of the rewrite of JGA! I will keep my A/Ns a lot shorter for this rewrite and try to incorporate all information I may have supplied in the A/Ns of the past into the story itself. I also shall try to keep them to the end of chapters rather than the beginning, except on this first chapter. I cannot believe how different is! Wow!**

**I also now do realise the importance (And yet at the same time stupidity) of a disclaimer, although I doubt I would ever get sued, I mean, fanfiction is called _fan_fiction for a reason - bcause it is writtens by _fans_. Let's get to it then!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto, does not belong to me, (obviously) and all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

* * *

For the umpteenth time that day, Chiba Sumire sighed. The situation with her so called 'best friend', Sayuri Koizumi, had taken a turn for the worse. It hurt to cut ties with her, but she believed it was for the best. Even so, this meant only that she was now truly lonely...

"Everybody settle down. _Now!_"

The teacher's command was completely ignored by the bustling class. Chiba sat silently to the side of the room, as far away as possible from the rest of the class, who huddled in groups conversing with their friends. She shook her head, causing her straightened side fringe to fall over her face, hiding her expression from the _idiots_ surrounding her, so she could think in peace. Her short, dark brown hair marked her as an outsider in that school. While everyone else had long, feminine hairstyles, Chiba settled for something a little more boyish, which was an open invitation to a range of insults: 'dyke', 'lesbian', the list was endless. Teenage girls could sometimes be cruelly creative.

She sighed once again. The only thing that brightened her afternoon was the fact that it was Friday. She had the weekend to look forward to, two days without being shunned by her peers. Two days of heavenly peace.

"Please quiet down, I need to take the roll!" The teacher sounded stressed, and Chiba didn't blame her. Who wouldn't feel stress taking such a disrespectful class?

With her next sigh, the harsh sound of the bell echoed across the school.

* * *

"Progress?"

A man with long black hair tied back into a ponytail turned to the shadows behind him, from where the question had come. "It is now ready..."

"Good...proceed." The questioner moved from the shadows and took his place at the top point of the seal painted in blood upon the clearing ground.

The nine others present each moved to their own place at either the outer points or the seal or the points of the pentagonal shape in the middle of the seal. They each moved their hands through a set of hand signs, the inner five performing a different set to the outer five. When the sets were complete, they all crouched and placed their hands to either side of themselves, and began to chant.

* * *

She fell backwards onto her bed after closing the door, staring blankly up to the ceiling. Sayuri could not believe Chiba had cut ties with her. She knew why, she knew very well, but she had believed Chiba to have already forgiven her. They had been best friends for years, and Sayuri had thought that would override what she had done, that they would remain that way forever. Apparently it was just too much for Chiba to deal with.

She understood, and accepted Chiba's decision.

But she still felt empty.

* * *

Chiba sighed as she threw her school bag behind her door and fell onto her bed. _I've been sighing way too much lately._ She mused, and chuckled. How sad her existence had become. She had almost nothing left. She had been abandoned by many of her 'friends', and the few remaining had been pulled from her by those who had abandoned her first. When all she had left was Sayuri and her closest and final friend, Ishimaru Shinchi, Sayuri had ruined everything and torn Chiba and Ishimaru apart. Although Sayuri had remained faithful to Chiba as a friend, what she had done to Chiba absolutely broke her heart. She couldn't stand to remain friendly with the girl who had ruined her most valuable friendship, who had torn away the very person who had been her pillar of strength during the earlier years of high school, when her family had begun to fall apart. She just couldn't.

Being around Sayuri brought back old memories, and it tore her apart. For her own sanity, their friendship had to end.

Chiba blinked back tears and sat up on the edge of her bed, choking back a quiet sob. A small trip to the park seemed the perfect way to clear her head and find some peace, so she packed a small bag with some essentials for a few hour trip, including her sketchbook, an eraser, her phone, a lead pencil, sharpener and a set of colouring pencils. She slung the backpack over one shoulder and walked into the kitchen, where her mother stood preparing food for dinner. With a few deep breaths, she composed herself enough to feel she could hold a conversation.

"Mum? I'm going to take Tiger for a walk for a few hours." Chiba told her mother as she picked up an apple from the fruit basket on the bench.

"A few hours? Where are you walking to, the city?!" Chiba's mother exclaimed in confusion, halting the food preparation and turned to look at her daughter.

"No, no! I'm going to take him to the park so he can run around for a while." Chiba raised her hands defensively. "Relax man."

"Oh! Oh that's fine then. Just make sure to be back before dark." She returned to the food and waved Chiba off.

Chiba stretched her arms over her head as she walked to the backyard, picking up the leash from its place in the laundry on her way out. As she exited the house she whistled. "Tiger! Here boy!" She shook the leash. "Walk time!"

She heard the quick clicking of claws against concrete as the English Staffordshire ran down the driveway in response to her voice. She smiled softly as the Tiger jumped at her in excitement, tail wagging frantically. Chiba giggled as she clipped the leash into his collar with a little difficulty due to his excited wiggling. She sat on the concrete and drew him close in a restraining hug. "Calm down boy!" She laughed. "Sit!" Tiger wriggled out of her grasp and sat obediently, staring at her expectantly. His chocolate brown eyes begged her to take him out immediately. "Should I, boy? Hmm?" She scratched him behind his left ear and smiled. "Alright, alright, let's go. We're going to the park so you can run around there for a little."

Chiba rose and slipped her hand through the wrist-strap of the leash, checking that the doggy bag attached to the leash was in no danger of falling off. She hoped she wouldn't have to use it; picking up after a dog felt absolutely disgusting. She tugged lightly on the leash, and that was all the encouragement Tiger needed to begin trotting up the driveway and onto the footpath. They walked to the park a few blocks over, halting every now and then to allow Tiger to sniff around a few trees and mark his territory over again.

Chiba took a deep breath as they reached the park, which was more of a nature reserve. It was much like a forest, with a small clearing in the middle which two paths from either side of the park lead to. Chiba took a seat on one of the park benches in the clearing and had a quick look around. With the confirmation that she and Tiger were alone, she unhooked his leash and allowed him to roam free while she sketched out her thoughts. Removing the sketchbook and lead pencil from her bag, she began some rough sketches, unsure of what they would turn out to be.

The hours in the park passed quickly. Chiba sighed as she noticed the setting sun and decided it was probably time to return home. She whistled for Tiger's attention and called out to him. "Tiger! Come on boy! Come here! Time to go!"

When her calls were met with no response, Chiba frowned. It was strange to be ignored by Tiger, he was most loyal to her out of anyone in her family. "Tiger?"

She rose from the bench, packing her sketchbook and pencil back into the bag. "Come on Tiger, where are you?"

She began searching the bushes around which she had last seen the dog on the other side of the clearing, wondering where he had disappeared to. _I don't get it. This is so weird. He never ignores me, he always comes when I call him. I hope nothing happened._ She thought with a frown as she ventured further into the trees. She noticed a strange red glow hidden in a particularly overgrown area of the forest. If she hadn't been searching for signs of Tiger, there was no way she would have seen it. Curiosity overruled caution as she moved to investigate. She reached out to the large shrub covering the strange glow to move it aside.

There was only darkness.

* * *

"Sayuri, please go out and find the cat, she needs to be brought in for the night!"

"Alright mum, just a sec!" Sayuri yawned and pushed herself up out of the desk chair. As she stood, she glared down at her homework with contempt. "Wasted my whole night, it's already nearly ten..." She turned and left the study room, then flew down the stairs two at a time, eager to bring in her cat, Tiffany. The sooner she found her, the sooner she could sleep. "Mum! I'm heading out now, I'll be back in about five minutes!" She yelled over her shoulder as she left the house. She headed up the street and turned into the nearby park, where her cat always was at that time of the night, usually sleeping. The park had fallen into disuse, and so was completely overgrown, the grass standing at Sayuri's knees, various climbing plants winding around the trees trunks. The swings were rusty and covered in vines. Small weeds poked through cracks in the concreted areas.

Sayuri quietly navigated her way over to her cat's favourite sleeping spot, hoping to find her there and quickly return home. "Dammit!" The hollow was empty. That meant only one thing: a long and arduous search.

As she turned to leave, something caught her attention at the edge of her vision. A strange red glow, barely noticeable and hidden behind a broken fountain. While all her instincts screamed at her to leave and ignore it, something drew her towards it, and she couldn't help moving to investigate. She walked around the fountain.

There was only darkness.

* * *

Pein narrowed his eyes as another surge of chakra gathered in the centre of the pentagram before exploding outwards in a burst of energy. After the strange dog had appeared, he had begun to doubt the jutsu.

Two girls materialised, their eyes closed as they slept peacefully, knocked out from the shock of the power of the jutsu. They looked to be very young. Pein growled.

"Seriously? What the fuck is this?" Hidan, the angry, silver haired zealot, was completely fed up with this absolute _waste of time_. "Is this shit actually working?"

Pein turned his head to glare at Hidan. "Quiet." Hidan cowered under his gaze. Those blank, ringed eyes were unnerving, even to the overzealous immortal.

"He has a point..." Konan said softly. "So far this hasn't been working out as we had hoped."

Pein turned to stare down at the girls, who were being sniffed by the dog who had first appeared. It sat down beside them and whined. "Alright...stop. This is becoming a waste of chakra."

The slight glow emanating from the lines of the seal faded as each Akatsuki member released their hold on the seal. Some took a moment to find their bearings before standing.

"Alright, let's go." Pein turned to leave, halting after a few steps as pitiful whining reached his ears. "Tobi..."

"We can't leave them here like this Leader-samaaa!" Tobi whined. "Can't we bring them back with us anyway?!" He faced Pein in what the other members perceived to be a hopeful manner.

Pein knew better.

He knew that disguised under that foolish innocence was someone he needed to listen to. He took a moment, pretending to ponder the decision, although it had already been made. He faked a sigh of resignation. "Okay, fine. We'll decide what to do with them later."

Tobi's smile could be heard in his voice. "Yay~!"

Pein glanced at Itachi while Tobi picked up one of the girls and slung her over his shoulder. "Itachi, take the other girl."

"Yes, Leader-sama." Itachi obeyed without question, picking up the other girl.

* * *

"Meeting in five minutes. Tobi, Itachi, leave the girls on the beds in the empty room, we will decide what to do with them when they wake up and can explain themselves." Pein dismissed the Akatsuki members and walked into his office. Collapsing into his chair, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. _I'm exhausted…_ He thought.

The door opened slowly. Pein cracked open one eye slightly to see Konan tentatively entering the room. She closed the door quietly and softly stepped over to Pein's desk. "Nagato? Are you feeling okay?"

Pein smiled. "Be careful with that name Konan…" He murmured. "I'm tired..channeling so much chakra through another body is so difficult…"

Konan gave a small smile. "It's fine, they're all too tired to eavesdrop."

Pein laughed. "Don't underestimate them, they're not here because they're weak." He stretched and opened his eyes fully. "This may take me a few days to recover from."

Konan moved forward and stroked Pein's hair softly. "Don't push yourself, okay? I think it's about time now for the meeting, we should go."

"Alright." Pein nodded in agreement, pushing himself up from his chair.

* * *

"Ohhh my gosh…" Chiba groaned as she slowly opened her eyes. "What the heck happened…" She winced at a sharp pain in her head. "Ow! Christ on a bike! That shit hurts!" Rubbing her head, she looked around at her unfamiliar surroundings. "...What? The fuck? Where am I?"

"Oww…"

Chiba jumped in surprise at the whimper from besides her. She hadn't noticed anyone else in the room. She looked down and observed the girl lying next to her. _She looks...strangely familiar...but...Oh my god!_"...S-Sayuri?"

"Huh...what...who the heck are you?" Sayuri looked up at Chiba with no recognition.

Chiba hesitated. _Should I tell her who I am…? It would make things so...awkward. Shit but I've already said her name so she knows I know her_... "I...um…"

Sayuri narrowed her eyes in thought, then widened them in realisation. "Wait...Chiba? Oh...um…"

Chiba avoided Sayuri's gaze. "Yeah...hey."

"Why do we...look like this?" Sayuri looked down at her clothing, then back to Chiba, examining their strange appearance.

Chiba shrugged. "We look like our old Naruto personas from back when we were thirteen."

"Yeah I noticed that, but...why?" Sayuri sat up and looked around the room. "And where are we? Oh! Did you see that weird light as well?"

Chiba's eyes widened. "Yeah, I did. That's really weird…"

"Maybe we're in the NarutoVerse?" Sayuri's eyes sparkled with delight. "Oh if we are this is simply _wonderful!_"

"Yeah I guess so." Chiba shrugged and gazed at the door. "Should we go investigate or wait? Chances are we've ended up here because someone found us and put us on these beds to wait for us to wake up."

"Let's wait I guess." Sayuri suggested.

"Investigating it is." Chiba decided. She was going to leave either way. She didn't want to stay alone in the same room with Sayuri for too long. The atmosphere was awkward and uncomfortable, and the sooner they found others, the sooner it would settle. She slid off the bed and walked to the door, testing it to see if it was locked. The door slid open. "You going to come or am I leaving you here?"

_She's being so cold... _Sayuri jumped off the bed and stumbled on her landing. "Ah! Oops! Wait, I'm coming!" She followed Chiba out the door into the dimly lit hallway. "This doesn't look familiar at all."

"What's this?" A deep voice growled from behind the girls.

Sayuri jumped into Chiba. "Ohmygod what was that?!"

Chiba sighed, pushing Sayuri off her and then turning. "Who are you?"

The owner of the voice moved forward from the shadows. "None of your concern."

Sayuri froze. "Chiba…"

Chiba had gasped at the emergence of the man in front of them. "I know...I know. Oh my god. Fuck." _Of all places to end up, we end up with the Akatsuki and our first meeting is with one of their most heartless members...this is shit, this is so shit, what the fuck is going on…_ Her thoughts raced in a panic.

The man raised an eyebrow at the reaction. These girls recognised him? Only ANBU should know of his appearance. "You know who I am?"

Chiba nodded slowly, fearfully. "K...Kakuzu…."

Kakuzu's green eyes widened for a moment. He frowned under his mask. Small threads slid across the floor from under his cloak, unnoticed by the girls. "How?" He growled threateningly. If these girls knew who he was, they were probably a danger. To himself, and to the Akatsuki.

"You wouldn't believe us if we told you…" Chiba breathed, barely audible. Sayuri remained frozen in fear.

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed at his perceived lack of response The taller girl looked like she had said something, but he had heard nothing. His threads had reached the girls' feet. _Idiots...how have they not noticed?_ "I said…" His threads jumped into action, twirling up and ensnaring the girls around their wrists and ankles. He lifted them both and slammed them against the wall. "_How?!_"

Sayuri cried out in pain, and sobbed. "P-Please no...stop…don't..."

Adrenaline rushed through Chiba, and all her instincts screamed at her to _run, escape!_ "Stop! Stop it! Please Kakuzu _stop!_ We're not a danger to you or the Akatsuki, I swear! Do you see a headband from _any_ village anywhere on our bodies?! We're weak, we know nobody, we can do nothing! We are born outcasts, we belong nowhere! Just like you, just like the Akatsuki, but we're _weak, defenceless_, please stop…" She thrashed in her bonds before falling limp and sobbing in fear. "D-Don't hurt us…"

Kakuzu snorted. "Weak. Not even worth my time." He released them and withdrew his threads. Sayuri curled up into a ball, Chiba landed on her knees and kept her gaze to the floor. "Follow me so Leader-sama can decide what to do with you trash." Turning, he walked to the meeting room without waiting for the girls.

Chiba looked up as she heard the footsteps, then looked at Sayuri. Maternal instincts kicked in. No matter what Sayuri had done, she didn't deserve the fear from what had just happened. Chiba reached out and touched Sayuri's shoulder comfortingly. "Sayu." She said softly. "Come on Sayu sweetie, we have to go with him."

Sayuri looked up at the use of her nickname. Chiba's motherly expression calmed her immediately. She smiled inwardly - Chiba had always been good at comforting people. "O-Okay…" She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes. "Just...wait a moment…"

Chiba slipped her hand into Sayuri's hand and squeezed lightly. "You can recover on the way. Come on." She stood and pulled Sayuri to her feet.

"I-I hope the rest of them are a little more...gentle." Sayuri hiccupped and took a deep breath.

Chiba laughed nervously. "Somehow...I doubt that."

* * *

**A/N: I almost finished this off at 2500 words on the dot, but then decided to keep on going until the girls met at least one of the Akatsuki. This chapter ends with a final length of exactly 3,196 words (not including the A/Ns), which is now going to be the approximate word goal for future chapters. This takes me a few days to write, all depending on the free time I have. For example, this week after this chapter I will have little to no time for writing because of all the assessments I have to do for the assessment block. But next week there will be little for me to do so I will probably have a lot more free time to write. So basically I'll probably update once every couple of weeks, since I tend to write anywhere from 200 to 1000 words a day, depending on the time I spend on it. Knowing myself though I am likely to forget about keeping to this routine very quickly, so you can probably expect some month long gaps between updates. For if or when this happens, I am very sorry. I also tend to get caught up in playing LoL or Skyrim, so if that happens, no writing is done. Again, I am sorry for that as well lol.**

**Review and tell me your thoughts on this re-write, suggest any ideas you may have, changes you think might improve the story, whatever else you may have to say, constructive criticism appreciated! _Constructive._**

**For those who remember Tiger, you'll know that he was my dog IRL down to the breed and name. For those who don't, he was my dog IRL, haha. Sadly, nearly two years ago now, not long after I quit and dA, Tiger had to be put down (for a multitude of reasons) and it was done without my knowledge. When I found out, it was devastating, and this story is actually one of the few links I have to my baby 3 In a way, writing this means a lot to me and a quite the emotional rollercoaster, and I sort of hope that's conveyed somewhere in there through Chiba's character. Now let us be less depressing. I do hope you enjoyed the first chapter!**

**Until next update!**


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